The Risk Of Being Misunderstood

by J.D. Terrell, Carlisle, England | Category: Bible Principles Of Separation | Dec 1987

It was a sad, indeed tragic, indictment that Stephen brought against the Israelites of Moses' younger days - "but they understood not" (Acts 7:25).

As Moses tried to share with his contemporaries the glimpse he had seen of Israel's God as a God of deliverance, he expected them to share his vision and enthusiasm; he "supposed that his brethren understood". They did not' and they were the losers as a result. Whether the previous slaying of the Egyptian by Moses was a wise act or not may be debated, and whether it contributed unnecessarily to the rejection of Moses. But the incident does point up the question, in cases of misunderstanding, as to the part played by the "actor" and the "reactor, "by the individual or group seeking understanding on the one hand, and those responding on the other. "Genuine misunderstanding" is a widely used expression in this context and reminds us that sometimes, but not always, one person is acting or speaking in an entirely straightforward and wise way, while another is responding in an unwelcome and disappointing way, though without malice or other unworthy motive.

Sometimes, but not always. For it is all too easy to convey, as a Christian, an unintended impression perhaps of arrogance or disrespect; and equally easy for a response to be coloured by underlying attitudes of resentment, pride, or even guilt. The Christian, seeking to express before God and his fellows the important principles of separation can expect sometimes, maybe often, to be misunderstood. There is no scriptural principle more susceptible to such a reaction than separation. Yet we must not take misunderstanding too much for granted, must not come to anticipate such a reaction as so inevitable that we neglect to give close attention to its avoidance where possible.

What underlies misunderstanding?

It is worth considering a little further the possible underlying motives or attitudes which may condition the response of an observer of the separated disciple of the Lord Jesus. Resentment and pride have already been mentioned, and these, along with frank rebelliousness toward God's word can all play a part in producing what emerges as misunderstanding. And, of course, the process of

misunderstanding can readily deteriorate into one of deliberately misconstruing actions or words. All of these factors can be traced in the experience of the Lord Himself, and in many of the great Bible types of Christ in His earthly life. Some appreciation of this is necessary if we are to anticipate and, by the Lord's help, minimize misunderstandings on the part of others before whom we give our separated witness. Pride, jealousy and undisguised rebellion against His divine word characterized the response of the Pharisees and Scribes to the Lord. Perhaps this was so marked that "misunderstanding" becomes a less than adequate account of their attitude. Jealousy gleamed in Joseph's brothers' eyes when their younger brother, separated in loyalty to his father, came to see how they fared. A very similar picture is presented by the young David's expedition into the vale of Elah to visit his brothers; both precious types of the Lord. Some guilt also was to weigh upon the minds of Joseph's brothers; and perhaps of David's brothers too, as the strong upstanding Eliab, Abinadab, Shammah and the others who had paraded so proudly before Samuel, watched shamefacedly as the stripling from the grazing fields strode boldly towards Goliath. But of course, the ultimate in all that is best in separation to the will of God and from the world and its ways, is found in the perfect Antitype. Consider John 17:16-19, "Sanctify them in the truth

for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth"'. As the hymn writer touchingly expresses it:

O Lord, with sorrow and shame,

We meekly would confess

How little we, who bear Thy Name

Thy mind, Thy will express.

Give us Thy meek, Thy lowly mind;

We would obedient be,

And all our rest and pleasure find

In fellowship with Thee.

Without doubt, misunderstanding of our motive of loyalty to the Lord Jesus and to His word can generate some of the keenest suffering and reproach-bearing which befalls the disciple of Christ.

How does misunderstanding arise?

As progressively expounded in this series on Bible Principles of Separation, a variety of contexts governs the expression of our spiritual separation. Sometimes it relates to the world, whether in terms of its manifest moral evil, its politics and conflicts, or even some of its "good", where activities, associated primarily with good works, become compromised by overtones of political, or frankly antichristian attitudes. Then there is, of course, the whole sphere of religious movements with the special need for non-involvement of those who would be faithful to the authoritative teaching of an inerrant Word. Perhaps for most, these situations present a rather less serious breeding ground for misunderstanding than the requirements of separation in service from other Christians who are involved in the bewildering range of denominations which exist. It is here that the pain of misunderstanding can become most acute; the apparent disunity of believers before the world; the obvious sincerity of much failure to comprehend our position on the part of beloved fellow Christians with whom day-by-day fellowship at the personal level can be so sweet. Let us look briefly at some of the ways the Christian separated to the service of God in His house, might address himself to reducing the risk of misunderstanding, or at least diluting its worst effects - all under the prayerfully sought direction of an all-wise and gracious Holy Spirit.

What can we do about it?

The ultimate key to this problem must surely lie in the believer's closeness and likeness to the Master. So the imitation of Christ, and the cultivation of the graces which characterized Him on earth; must be central, "Like Him in all those lovely traits, which in His lowly, earthly days so beautiful we see". Especially in our relations with fellow believers, nothing could be more important than to exhibit the meekness and gentleness of Christ. This will sometimes call for ample supplies of grace, when the task is one of contending earnestly for the faith. It is recorded of Paul that he "shrank not" from declaring the whole counsel of God. Was there a very natural and understandable reticence to pursue on some occasions the vigorous defence of some of those principles which are "pillar and ground of the truth"? Among such will often be issues involving a separated pathway of divine service in God's house. "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer each one" (Col. 4:6). So the apostle sums up to the Colossians one of the vital practical lessons springing from his precious ministry of Christlikeness in all the varied circumstances of day by day human life relationships (Col. 3:1 - 4:6).

The exhortation which immediately precedes that quoted above is, "Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time". This serves perfectly to underline a further important issue in the separated life. The world's observation of the Christian in his "walk" is often as acute as it is unobtrusive. One unwise step or word and the unmistakable, though perhaps oblique, rebuke is drawn from an unsuspected quarter. The "gospel according to me" will not pass unnoticed. So, without elaborating on the matter unnecessarily, we note the inevitable impact of such things as, for example, the Christian's lifestyle and his evident practical concern for those in various forms of need, while he may be taking a separated stand in such matters as trade union activism. The challenge of receiving the benefits of industrial negotiations while not contributing to these may never be settled to the full satisfaction of the challenger. But a spirit of evident "Godliness with contentment" will not fail to bear its witness in a positive way. Christian credibility in such contexts must be carefully cultivated if a separated stand is to escape at least the worst of misunderstanding.

"Separation not isolation" will be an expression familiar to many. It is often used to denote an appropriate, if sometimes subtle, distinction between what is scripturally required of the Christian in God's house, and an unnecessary and unwise avoidance of contact with others. They may be fellow Christians or unbelievers. Relationships can so readily become substantially negative and so give rise to misunderstanding, an impression of non-caring and selfish preoccupation. But the world is full of opportunity for positive links with others through acts of service and simple human kindness. "All the arts of friendliness" says one of our pleasant hymns, praying that we may so learn from His "great story".

May His Spirit, wise and holy,

With His gifts our spirits bless,

Make us loving, joyous, peaceful,

Rich in goodness, gentleness.

Such an attitude of heart, expressed in every possible practical way to those around, and seeking divine guidance to steer clear of the taint of hypocrisy, will do much to minimize the risk of misunderstanding. We cannot expect to succeed wholly in this, but the reproach we shall sometimes feel will then correspond more closely with what is described as "His reproach" (Heb. 13:13); and "the fellowship of His sufferings" in that respect will be blended preciously with knowing Him more intimately and increasingly experiencing the "power of His resurrection" in our lives (Phil. 3:10).

J.D. Terrell, Carlisle, England | Dec 1987
Bible Principles Of Separation