Addendum

by Toms, A. F. | Category: Family Life | Dec 1992

A while ago the subject of "raising our children for Christ" was part of a Christian family seminar.

With the help of a godly couple who had successfully raised a large family the following points were drawn up as useful guidelines in child training. As you will see they are not all supported by scriptural references, but they have been proved to be effective many a time and we believe parents with young families may find them helpful. In this spirit they are presented.

1. We must spend time with our children to understand them and become familiar with their individual needs. All children are different, and so are their needs. Let us take time to have fun with them.

2. Have rules and stick to them. As each game has its rules so must each family. But let us make them as few as possible, reasonable and easy to understand, and let them be fun. If special occasions call for flexibility let parents be seen acting together and supporting one another's decisions.

3. We must avoid favouritism at all costs. Children are quick to detect it when one child is loved and favoured above another. Some may be more easily loved than others, but that is where God's help in answer to prayer becomes real in enabling us to love each one equally. In the family life of Isaac and Rebekah we see the sad results of favouritism. It produced a divided home, and eventually Jacob had to run for his life.

4. We must help our children to feel trusted. "Son, I trust you". A statement such as that does something to a boy. It puts him on his honour not to betray that trust and very often it pays off.

5. Let us never forget that sometimes we also make mistakes. It is not always the child's fault! When we are in the wrong, and it concerns our children, let us not be slow or ashamed to acknowledge it and apologize to them. If we want them to be quick to say "sorry" when they make a mistake, then let us show them the way.

6. Keep them busy and if possible work with them. Let us not be upset by interruptions in our work. The children are our work! It is a work that God has entrusted to us and we are doing it for Him. Interruptions are part of the job!

7. Be available to help with their homework, to teach new skills, or just to listen to their joys and disappointments. "And what do you want now, John?" asked the father as his little boy made his way into his study for the umpteenth time that morning. "I don't want anything, Daddy, I just want to be with you". How lovely! What a shame if that father had been too busy for his little boy.

8. Have a home with an open door, and in your hospitality invite people whom you know will be an influence for good. Do not forget to invite the stranger too, of course, "for thereby some have entertained angels unawares".

9. Be grateful for the help of others. Very often young people respond more quickly to their friends' parents than to their own. This may hurt us at the times, but let us be sensible about it, and if our children find it easier to share their confidences with other parents, let us be thankful they are there and willing to lend a listening ear. Perhaps their youngsters will do the same with us if we are approachable enough.

10. Let us never forget the tremendous power of example. If we want our children to grow up to be kind and truthful, considerate and thoughtful for others, they are most likely to learn these traits from our example. And let them never hear gossip around our table.

These ten points are only a few of the many that could be listed, and we can all think of others. Finally let us remind ourselves of what Hannah said about her boy. "For this child I prayed" (1 Sam. 1:27). She prayed for him to be given in the first place, of course, but doubtless she prayed for him each day afterwards. We must not let up on our praying, for the promise holds good in family life too: "ask and ye shall receive".

Toms, A. F. | Dec 1992
Family Life