Training Up Children

by KERR, D.J. | Category: N/a | Mar 2008

‘Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.’ (Prov. 1:5 NIV)

One of life's loveliest experiences is to be at church events for the family and to note the potential of the babies, children and young adults of tomorrow. Sadly, experience has shown that things can go wrong. We must ask ourselves, "Why?" All parents do their best, and what follows is given only as helpful suggestions from a lifetime of experience.

1. The parents' commitment. I remember a respected Bible teacher being asked, "What is the best age to start teaching a child about the Lord?" His reply was, "25 years before the child was born." What he meant, of course, was that it starts with the parents. If parents are not seen to be wholly committed to the Lord's things, surely this is disadvantageous for the child growing up? Children soon notice parents’ priorities.

2. Criticism. Never allow a child to hear parents criticizing, or poking fun at, anything or any person associated with the church.

3. Complaints. Parents should be actively encouraged to attend church services with their children. If others criticize a child's behaviour, please consider whether they may be right in their assessment; for I have seen an extreme case of parents allowing a child's antics to entertain others while the speaker is passionately trying to speak about the sufferings of the Saviour. It is distracting for the speaker and worse for those who have missed the message.

4. The habits of a lifetime. The Saviour did things ‘as was His custom’ and it is good for children growing up to be guided into a routine. This applies specially to prayer and reading, not as a formality, but as a valuable and necessary part of Christian life, with resultant blessings.

5. TV – useful or Devil's tool? It can be both, so it presents a problem for the young aspiring Christian. It certainly needs to be controlled. If a TV set is installed in a child's bedroom (the same applies even more to computers) control is compromised. In this area the parents' example is the best influence. I know one family who purchase or hire Christian videos and sit down together to watch these each week – a wise use of television.

6. Companionship. Children and young people need compatible Christian peer company. Wrong companions are certainly high on the list of things to take our families away from the Lord and our churches. Parents should be prepared to inconvenience themselves if necessary and ensure that their children don't drift into wrong company. Peer pressure can be the strongest influence in a young person's life.

7. Credible answers. We need to provide our families with credible answers enabling them to defend Christianity, especially when peers and teachers dismiss it. It is not enough to know Scripture well, although that is good. Young people ought to know about others' arguments, and how we can defend our beliefs.

8. Boring services. A favourite excuse for not attending church services is that they are boring. This might be true, and if so, it's our fault! While there may be some aspects of our services which children find difficult, for example some words used in prayers and hymns, parents should take time to explain what the church meetings are all about. (God is not robbed by the use of simpler words and expressions.)

9. Divided families and single parents. If only one parent is saved, for example, this becomes difficult, so prayer support from the church and friends should be increased for the parent and child. The conduct and behaviour of the saved parent is going to be the strongest influence in these situations. The church should be able to provide support, and crèche facilities should be available for very young children, if possible.

10. We tend to speak more highly of our children/grandchildren than we ought. Academic excellence is good and should be recognized, but spirituality is of more value to God and should be the focus for our families.

Many parents have followed these or similar guidelines and sadly their families have been a disappointment. Please don't blame yourself. There are many factors outside your control which contribute. Please continue to pray, for in later years families often look back with appreciation to their parents' guidance and return to share the Lord's things with them.

KERR, D.J. | Mar 2008
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