Among Family Discord

by PRASHER, G. | Category: The Patient Patriarch | Oct 2003

Family life must have been transformed for Isaac and Rebekah after the birth of their twin sons. Could ever twins have been more different, both in appearance and personality? At birth Esau is described as 'red ... like a hairy garment all over', and in manhood Jacob said of him, '"Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth-skinned man."' Their life-styles, too, were in marked contrast: 'Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field; but Jacob was a mild man, dwelling in tents'.

Significantly Scripture records: 'Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob' (Gen.25:28). That Isaac should be specially drawn to Esau because he enjoyed eating the game made available through Esau's hunting seems a less than worthy motivation. Evidently Jacob's character and attitudes had greater appeal to his mother.

Whatever the reasons, such partiality in relating to different members of a family is a recipe for discontent and strife. In the family context, as more generally, 'the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle ... without partiality ... Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace' (Jas.3:17,18). In allowing partiality to colour their attitudes to their sons, Isaac and Rebekah were not pursuing the things which make for peace (Rom.14:19). It would contribute to serious friction in later years, and stands out as a scriptural warning against family favouritism, a parental weakness which has affected families in all generations.

The spiritual attitudes of Esau and Jacob were as diverse as their natural inclinations. From earliest days they would be equally privileged to learn about God's character and ways, from both their father and grandfather; for Abraham was alive until they were fifteen. Twin brothers with equal spiritual opportunity, yet by one it was treasured and by the other squandered! The inspired narrative records two examples of Esau's negative attitude to spiritual values. First the occasion when he sold his birthright to Jacob for a meal of red stew. In Hebrews 12:16 we are warned against such profanity. Nor did spiritual values weigh with him when it came to marriage! He took as wives two Hittite women: 'and they were a grief of mind to Isaac and Rebekah' (26:35). Many Christian parents can relate to that experience! For when family members are no longer being guided in their lives by the principles of the law of Christ this is bound to cause grief to parents who long for their highest good. Much wisdom, love and grace are needed to manifest Christ in relating to them. Yet how vital, too, that faithfulness to the Lord Jesus should not be compromised, remembering His searching word, '"He who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me"' (Mat.10:37).

In human perspective, a dishonourable conspiracy unfolds in Genesis chapter 27. That Rebekah should incite Jacob to deceive her husband in order to secure the blessing of the firstborn flies in the face of all godly counsel about family relationships. Perhaps Rebekah felt that the end justified the means. How much better advised she would have been to leave the outworking of His purposes to the wisdom and timing of the God who had revealed to her that the older son would serve the younger! The devastating result of this unprincipled human expediency was the tearing apart of the family. Esau's vengeful fury burned against Jacob with murderous intent. Fear of this led Rebekah to propose that Jacob should flee temporarily to her brother Laban in distant Haran. It would be twenty years before Jacob returned to Canaan.

However, in sovereign wisdom, God was watching over His divinely decreed purposes through Isaac's family, '(for the children not yet being born, nor having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works but of Him who calls), it was said to her, "The older shall serve the younger"' (Rom.9:11,12). This divine perspective on the family's history touches dimensions of God's unsearchable ways which are beyond our tracing out (Rom.11:33). Yet faith draws strong encouragement to recognize that through such defective human instruments God chooses to effect such lofty divine purposes.

PRASHER, G. | Oct 2003
The Patient Patriarch